I stand in and on the truth of this Scripture! It is true! Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning!!!
I am in awe of God’s amazing ability to heal our bodies, minds and our heart of hearts. He lifted me up and has carried me through months of agonizing physical pain and grief…but never left me without special moments of joy…His joy that surpasses all our human understanding.
Now after months of feeling like I was moving in slow motion through a muddy fog I am beginning to see life more clearly again…including the joy of life. I am so grateful for His gift of eternal life. I have been aware of and grateful for the amazing gift of eternal life for many years now…but this year the reality of that gift is even more tangible and real for me. I am not afraid of when God decides to bring me home to heaven. I look forward to eternal life now more than I ever have. But even more than that…I am once again able to live in today. I am able to embrace each precious moment of each precious day God gives me while I am living in it.
I am no longer fighting to fully live and embrace each moment. The numbness and fog of grief are slowly melting away as each month passes. The months of grieving so many changes have made me more grateful and aware of the cocoon of Grace God wraps us in during these difficult times.
Each moment in His precious cocoon of healing grace has left me with a deeper closeness with God that opened my eyes to see life through a filter of compassion and grace that leaves me in awe of His love for us and for those around us.
I am beginning to experience the delicious flavors of life again.
I am beginning to experience and embrace life once again.
Memories flooding back to my mind don’t always leave me with tears rolling down my cheeks. There are times when I chuckle and feel the warmth of a smile at the thought of what Will would do in the simple, precious moments of our life together.
I am discovering that I don’t have to work as hard to make sure I remember to do special things with our kids for holidays and daily life…I am able to relax, breathe and savor experiences with them instead of feeling life I need to force a smile on my face to make special days like birthdays special.
I am filled with a gratitude that goes beyond words for the new friendships God has placed in my life. These past months have been very difficult and painful in many ways…but they have been filled with amazing new gifts too.
I am not the person I was last summer. My life will never be the same. I am in awe at the ways He takes the brokenness of my life and is re-forming it into a life with new ways to embrace new life in Him. Every day I am amazed at how He is teaching me, leading me, healing me and growing me…all for His glory!
The emptiness that was in my heart after Will passed onto heaven is slowing healing and being filled with a grace and love that is hard to put into words…I am beginning to feel alive again as He gently leads me, loves me and shows me the new purpose He has for my life.
I still miss my William. I treasure the moments, days, weeks, months and few years we had together as a couple and as a family.
But I am also filled with awe as the sparkle and beauty of how God is transforming my brokenness into something special and I find myself humming and singing to myself as I drive to town where silence filled my heart and the air before. I find myself smiling and giggle or full-out laughing more each day. I find myself feeling stronger as Mom when our boys push the boundaries. I do not feel alone or panicky about how will I do this by myself…for I realize and truly do not feel alone.
God is with me in new ways. I trust more to Him than I did before and He is teaching me to trust the instincts He has given me.
Most times the tears pass more quickly than they did before and don’t come as often.
I can feel the winter of my life slowly beginning to melt away and I trust and feel my wings getting stronger each day.
I am honestly grateful for the journey He is leading me on…and I am grateful that, through His healing grace, I find myself embracing life once more.
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All for His Glory,
This week’s blog publication schedule is going to be a little different with some very special articles posted to celebrate our last week leading up to our celebration of Jesus’ Resurrection.
Monday– Marriage Monday– by Gina Marie
Thursday– Holy Thursday-Last Supper Devotion– Mary Joy
Friday– Good Friday Devotion– Mary Joy
Saturday– Joy comes in the morning devotion– Mary Joy