God is whispering to my heart… “surrender”.
I hear it during the day…
…when I try to be strong for my kids but I feel broken, weak, and in pain.
…when I feel frustrated when I can’t seem to get everything done around the house like I used to…and the way I want to do it.
…when I feel overwhelmed and so alone because of all I need to do to lead our family without Will here to lead us.
…when I struggle with fear of standing up in front of the people at church to speak or sing.
…when I am exhausted with grief but still need to get up and be strong for my family and be Mommy for them.
…when I feel broken and wonder how God can use me with all of my physical limitations and the disabilities I struggle with every day.
…when I face discipline challenges with our boys that Will use to face with me as a team and I have to figure out how to deal with them on my own.
I hear it during the night…
…when fear seeps into my spirit and makes me question every decision I made during that day.
…when fear and anxiety make me question myself and my abilities to serve Him.
…when my mind won’t shut down and I obsess over the things I said or didn’t say and my fears snowball into impossible obstacles.
I hear it so many times…when I question God and ask Him how he can use a broken woman with so much growing and learning to do.
And each time His answer is the same…surrender it to me and I will give you grace that is sufficient.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV
He love us that much. What the world sees as broken and ready to be thrown to the curb…God takes and makes whole.
The battle I fight over and over again is to remember that I am not the one who makes myself whole and then presents my “gift” to Him. No! It is only in surrendering…
my inefficiencies to Him that He can take them all from me and fill the space left in me with His total and amazing Grace…a grace that is more than sufficient! I have nothing to fear! He is always faithful!
Some days, some nights, that is hard to wrap my brain around…but over the past year God has used surviving our tragic accident and all of the miracles and moments of feeling more broken than I have ever felt before to show me and teach me how powerful His Grace really is. I am learning that if it wasn’t for this time of total brokenness I would not have discovered how strong the gift of faith is that He gave me…the gift of His amazing grace. It lifted me out of an accident that should have taken my life from this earth…it saved my mind from any damage that should have happened from the injury and trauma to my brain in the accident. It is because of His amazing healing grace that any brokenness has been healed and replaced with thoughts of thanks and praise. He is always faithful!
It was in totally surrendering my survival or death to Him that I was given the precious gift of seeing and experiencing life with Him in ways I never imagined. Yes I still have moments when I struggle with fear or anxiety or panic…but I feel God’s presence more powerfully than I thought possible…in ways I have leaned on and am learning to fully embrace as I remember and experience anew each day…He is faithful.
I struggle with forgetting what He brought me through and remembering that even though I still struggle with some limitations and disabilities…I am alive and learning to do more than survive…slowly I am learning to fully embrace each day and night as the precious gifts they are.
God is using what I went through as a testimony to His faithfulness.
God is using what He brought me through, and continues to bring me through, as opportunities to give thanks and praise to Him and to share His very real faithfulness with others.
There are times when I forget that surrendering wasn’t something I did only during the toughest days following the accident or in the midst of the accident while we waited for emergency workers to cut us out of our car. I am so grateful that He is with me to gently remind me that He doesn’t want just the big things in my life. He wants me to surrender the daily moments when I feel broken, anxious, overwhelmed or afraid.
It is through fully surrendering every single moment and area of my life…of all of our lives…to Him that He can soften our hearts, minds, spirits..our lives and mold us like the potter molds the clay. It is only then that we can become the vessel He can use to bring others to Himself and further His kingdom through our testimony.
What’s funny is as Christians, sometimes we forget that He is always faithful. We forget that it is through His work in our lives…Him overcoming the obstacles in our lives…Him working through our weaknesses that He can be strong! And when He is strength is working in us, we experience the amazing power of His love and grace in ways we never dreamed.
So this week I am asking you to join me in asking God to shine His light into the areas of our lives where we need to surrender to Him more fully…so that we may experience the healing power in the brokenness of our lives through His amazing grace. And I am asking you to you join me in sharing our testimonies of His faithfulness in our lives as we surrender our lives to Him with others so that they too can learn of His faithfulness and begin to embrace it in their own lives.
Do you hear the whisper of His voice calling you to surrender?
If you would like to join me in journaling about this devotion this week, please click here to see this week’s journaling guides for adults and for children.
Surrendering at the foot of the Cross,
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