I married a man who had been a bachelor and taking care of himself on his own for 13 years. He knew how to clean his apartment, pay his bills, cook some killer chili, do laundry, mend his clothes (thanks to my mother-in-love’s teaching), and manage his schedule.
He was pretty independent after high school, going off to college in another state and living on campus. As an adult, he never moved back in with his mom; when I met him I soon learned that he had never been married or had a woman taking care of him on a daily basis. If he needed something or something had to get done, he learned to do it for himself.
I found it interesting after we were married that if he was hungry in between meals that he would make himself a sandwich. If he was thirsty, he poured himself a drink. It was a very rare thing to hear him say, “Hey honey, please get me _______?” I didn’t even have a chance to wait on him hand and foot as he was used to taking care of things when he noticed them.
When the kids came along, it was common to see him trying to learn new things to help me out around the house, especially new skills for baby-care; he changed his first diaper on his first child! I knew if I needed something, he would be the first to get it for me or offer a hand to help out when he got home from work. I think back over the last 12 years and wonder how many things he has done that I didn’t even see….
I share that as background for what God has placed on my heart for me to do to build my marriage this week. I feel like God would have me do intentional acts of service in secret to surprise my husband. I know this concept isn’t something new to anyone reading God-centered marriage blogs, books, or studies, but by sharing this simple conviction that I have been called to do to be a blessing to him, I hope you see how the little things can mean so much.
To bless my husband by becoming more mindful of seeing his needs and taking care of whatever it is (before he gets an opportunity to do it for himself) is living out the Gospel in my very own home. In serving him through the Love of Christ, I will be able to be a blessing beyond words to both of us.
These are examples* of some things he does for himself/the family that I can try to do this week without comment, resentment, or fanfare:
- Take out the trash
- Make his lunch every day
- Put his clothes in the drawer and hang up his dress clothes after I fold the laundry
- Organize the bills and balance the checkbook
- Polish his work shoes
- Prepare and bring him a snack
- Offer him a drink of water when he comes home from work at night.
* I will look for other things to do that may seem “small” but God prompts my heart to do anyway … The list can be endless. *
The passage of verses that keeps coming to mind as I think about this service opportunity of blessing is found in Philippians 2:1-4:
Above all things be loving, humble, united
2 1-4 Now if your experience of Christ’s encouragement and love means anything to you, if you have known something of the fellowship of his Spirit, and all that it means in kindness and deep sympathy, do make my best hope for you come true! Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you. Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves. None of you should think only of his own affairs, but should learn to see things from other people’s point of view. - J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)
I think about starting this and get excited – I wonder if he will notice? I wonder if he will wonder what’s going on? Maybe I will be surprised at his reaction.
We have been married over 11 years and not once has he told me that I don’t do enough for him – - – but through prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit, God has humbled me to realize that I can do more and what I can do will show my husband just how much he means to me.
He is a treasure, a blessing, my lover, my friend – I pray for a chance to bless his socks off this week at least once a day to put my love into action so that he can see it and feel it and remember, always remember how much I love and cherish him.
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To God be the Glory -
* This prompting to serve others in a secret but intentional way doesn’t have to be limited to a marriage relationship; if you are reading this and are currently single, ask God to show you someone who you can bless by being mindful to meet their needs with your special touch.
I would love to hear your ideas on what you are going to do - or - you can share how God used this in your marriage or relationship. Please leave a comment and let us know how God is moving in your life and if you have a need for prayer that we can lift up to the Lord. *
Joining with Making your Home Sing Mondays